Sunday, February 11, 2007

Hello. My name is Avery. That’s Avery with an A.

Today it is raining. Really hard. Dad said it’s raining cats and dogs.

So far I haven’t seen one drop. No cats no dogs.

If I don’t see one soon I’m gonna go look through Dad’s window. Maybe his is better.

But I’m sticking close to windows all day.

If I see one then I’ll let you know.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

I'm just a wanderin' man

Hello. My name is Avery. That’s Avery with an A.

There are times when a man needs to get away on his own. Put on a hat and hair... and just to jump on the back of a horse and go for his life.

You know. Just give me a home.

Where the buffalo roams.

And the dear and antelope play.

Where never is heard a discouraging word.

And the skies are not cloudy all day.

Hello Avery

Hello Pheobelou.

Another cowboy kind a day Avery?

Yep. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

Whatever that is!

Yep! Whatever that is!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Just dessert...

Hello. Its Avery. That’s Avery with an A.

Every so often I figure that I have to train Paloma and my Dad. And remind Nanny who is boss.

It’s called having a cow.

You have to scream a lot. And if they try to pick you up you squirm so they ALMOST drop you.

You have to be totally unreasonable and cry really really loudly. Specially if they have visitors.

If you are in bed you take the clothes off and pee straight onto the mattress.

And they suddenly remember that you are very very very very very important in the house. The most important one even above the dog.

And collect your just desserts.

Life Gets Very Tricky Doesn't It...

Hello. My name is Avery that’s Avery with an A. I am a thinking man. And this is Phoebelou. She’s a girl. But she also thinks. That’s unusual for a girl so I made her my bestest best friend.

The lady is Prudella. She’s blonde.

I’m not blonde. Have another look at me and see if you think I’m blonde.

You see in that photo that I’m not blonde.

Some people say they are having a “blonde moment”.

I haven’t had any time when I’ve seen my hair change to blonde.

But I wonder what happens if you are blonde like Prudella all the time. Do you get a black moment? Or a red moment? Or a nut-brown moment?

I asked Phoebelou but she doesn’t know because she isn’t a blonde either. See…

And so far she hasn’t had any blonde moments.

Life gets very tricky doesn’t it.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

There are days when a boy gets to thinking. Guys wear pants. Pants make sense. So why do girls wear dresses.

Specially when Paloma wears long ones. She doesn’t take her legs off either. Believe me cos I did check.

I asked Phoebelou. But she didn’t know. I thinked Phoebelou that it’s really silly when you think about it. If it’s windy you could easily start flying like Mary Poppins. End up sitting on a cloud and float away or turn into rain.

Boys are cool. Girls are strange.

But cuddly.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Potty Travel...

"Where's Avery?"

"Don't know Nanny Muriel."

"Where the hell can that boy be!"




"What's the matter, Nanny Muriel?"

"Avery's gone off on the potty again, Sir."

"Maybe he has a great future in NASCAR."

Sunday, April 30, 2006

What is it about women?

Hello. It's Avery with an a. I'm being harrassed. Pennylou is telling me that I've got to stop taking sparklies.

What is it about women? Can't a man like sparlies? Why only women get to wear sparklies?

Pennylou is a spoilsport. She's nearly four and thinks she knows everything.

If she did then she'd know where I put them.

"I'm going to tell Paloma you took her earrings, Avery."

Nag nag nag.

"She's going to tell you you're an evil little baby, Avery."

Nag, nag, nag.

"Your Dad's going to be very cross with Avery."

Nag, nag, nag.

"You are going to be in serious trouble, Avery."

Nag, nag, nag.

"You're a thief Avery!"

Ooooooh I'm so scared Pennylou. I hope you get caught by the giant easter bunny and turn into a egg baby!

"Bloggy." I thinked her.

"Ooohwa Avery. That's a naughty word."

No it isn't silly Pennylou. It's the truth. This is where this bloggy boy tells the truth. And the truth is:

If you were smart you'd look in Avery's Diary. So there.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Salad Days

I did warn you. I tried to think you that if you lay down with dogs you get fleas. That if you flirt with monkeys you sit in trees. And that if you eat Easter Eggs you get babies.

If this is how babies are born then I'm going to stop having eggs in the morning. I know this will be difficult because Nanny Muriel says that eggs are good for you.

Good for you? If you are going to find a baby inside one of them does that mean you need to keep it? Babies are so dumb and stupid. They don't even think out loud. They just are.

Good for you? If you are going to find a baby inside one of them does that mean you need a milk machine? I don't think so.

Go ahead and keep eating eggs but don't say that this bloggy boy didn't warn you.