Sunday, April 30, 2006

What is it about women?

Hello. It's Avery with an a. I'm being harrassed. Pennylou is telling me that I've got to stop taking sparklies.

What is it about women? Can't a man like sparlies? Why only women get to wear sparklies?

Pennylou is a spoilsport. She's nearly four and thinks she knows everything.

If she did then she'd know where I put them.

"I'm going to tell Paloma you took her earrings, Avery."

Nag nag nag.

"She's going to tell you you're an evil little baby, Avery."

Nag, nag, nag.

"Your Dad's going to be very cross with Avery."

Nag, nag, nag.

"You are going to be in serious trouble, Avery."

Nag, nag, nag.

"You're a thief Avery!"

Ooooooh I'm so scared Pennylou. I hope you get caught by the giant easter bunny and turn into a egg baby!

"Bloggy." I thinked her.

"Ooohwa Avery. That's a naughty word."

No it isn't silly Pennylou. It's the truth. This is where this bloggy boy tells the truth. And the truth is:

If you were smart you'd look in Avery's Diary. So there.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Salad Days

I did warn you. I tried to think you that if you lay down with dogs you get fleas. That if you flirt with monkeys you sit in trees. And that if you eat Easter Eggs you get babies.

If this is how babies are born then I'm going to stop having eggs in the morning. I know this will be difficult because Nanny Muriel says that eggs are good for you.

Good for you? If you are going to find a baby inside one of them does that mean you need to keep it? Babies are so dumb and stupid. They don't even think out loud. They just are.

Good for you? If you are going to find a baby inside one of them does that mean you need a milk machine? I don't think so.

Go ahead and keep eating eggs but don't say that this bloggy boy didn't warn you.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

I know trouble when I see it.

If they think that they can convince me to go to a big toilet like Emery does then they can think again. I mean, what's wrong with a diaper? It makes sense.

It's always there. That means that a boy doesn't have to think when he needs to go. He just does.

Emery was tricked into giving up her diaper in the daytime. She still wears one to bed. But in the daytime she has to think about when she needs to go to the toilet. What does she do? She sits there thinking every second. How long until I need to go to the toilet?

I'm sorry but Avery has much more important things to think about. And then there's the flushing water. What if you fall in. Where do you go? Into the swimming pool?

And what's with the tiny room? If it's so important to go to the big toilet why make the room so small? If you are reading this and nodding then you are pretty clever. You are also asking yourself:


Crazy isn't it.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I wonder what a lie is. They happen if you say them. Dad told Emery she wasn’t telling the truth. So what is truth? Do you make it?

Dad says lies make your nose grow bigger like Pinocchio. I’ve been watching Emery and I think her's is getting bigger.

When I close one of my eyes I can see my nose. I’ll keep an eye on it just in case I think a lie.

Poor Nanny Muriel. If my nose grows she’s going to have to get bigger tissues and make me blow louder.

By Way of Explanation.

This is my dumb sister Emery. She's pretty yucky most of the time. Sometimes she's okay but you gotta remember, when you find yourself liking her that she's still Emery.

The things that annoy me about Emery.

1. She cries when I touch her toys.
2. She's a girl.
3. She tells Nanny Muriel when I find a sparkly in Paloma's bedroom.
4. She tells Nanny Muriel when I do a pooky in my diaper so Nanny Muriel puts me on the stupid potty.

I'm starting to get the hang of being a bloggy boy. And an alter ego. I think it's a very important job to be an alter ego. You see, Pennyoz, is the only person I can think to. Except to Pheobelou. She's my best friend even though she's a girl.

Now I'm going to see if I can down load a photo again and not lose this wonderful piece of prose.
It's going to be Phoebelou. And you can see her sister Pennylou.

Well its there but it didn't come to this spot. I thought it would. But it's taken a whole day for Pennyoz and me to work out how to get to this point. I like the format of this bloggy. And not to mention another whole day on another bloggy we are testing.

There's Phoebelou. She can think. Say hello Phoebelou.


It's dark outside. That means that Nanny Muriel will be here soon. And she'll put on the bath. And put me into it. Wash my face with a washer. I hate it when she does that. I don't know why she hates it when my nose runs. It doesn't bother me so why should it bother her. And I don't care if my mouth is dirty. I can't see it!

And then she'll tuck me into bed.

Now we just checked the preview and it's a little mixed up.

The top picture is Phoebelou. And the bottom picture is me and Emery. That's the scary Buddha in the hallway. It's down the end of the hallway in the dark part. That's a grandfather clock. I don't know why it's called a grandfather clock except that maybe it has a grandfather inside it?


Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Is a puzzlement

I'm on a learning curve. This bloggy business isn't easy when you can only think questions. And it doesn't help when I have to go to bed at night, wake up in the morning and find that I can't remember how to think my way around this site.

My name is Avery. That's Avery with an A. I'm a boy. Bloggies are good for boys. They think but the big people don't seem to be able to hear me. When I talk out loud, they think I'm cute. Look at this:


"Dean! Did you hear that?"


"I think he said my name!"

"Say it again, Avery. Say P-A-L-O-M-A."


"Oh my God! He is saying my name. Oh Avery. You darling boy!"

I thinked you!! Didn't I think you that they think I'm cute when I say words out loud! Of coursse I know her name. Does she think boys are stupid?

I am trying to think them all the time. Avery is a bloggy boy now but they cannot hear me think them. It'd be so easy if I could just tell them go to my blog. I'm an alter ego. I'm not quite sure what that is but it sounds impressive. Emery isn't an alter ego. That's probably because she's a girl and boys a much more handsome and clever than girls.


I don’t get Easter. What is it? I need your help.

A horrible giant hairy white rabbit with a horrible red nose came to our house.

“Look Avery! It’s the Easter Bunny!” Dad said.

I cried. I thinked Paloma and Dad - Make it go away. And I stuck my face into Paloma’s milk machine.

“Oh Avery, darling... Don’t cry. He’s got something special for you.” Paloma told me.

I peeked. I cried. It was a horrible giant shiny thing shaped like an egg.

“Look Avery. It’s a special egg just for Avery!” Paloma said.

I know what eggs are. They are white. Nanny Muriel gives me and Emery one every morning. She has special little cups for the eggs. She taps it on the head and says:

“Here comes the magic spoonful of eggy, so open up the Aladdin’s cave!” I always open my mouth, but I think it’s funny because she opens her mouth too - even though she’s not eating. This morning their eggs weren’t white because they had painted them. But Avery had one he painted so he knew it was white under the paint.


Avery knows what eggs are. And this was not an egg!


But nobody could hear me think them.

“Look Avery, nice big shiny egg.” Paloma held it in her hand in front of my face. “Avery’s special Easter Egg!”

It did look pretty. But I knew it was a trick. It was from the horrible giant white bunny. I put my tongue on it. YEEEEW! It tasted awful! Bitter. I made a face. Why are they all laughing? Are they stupid? Don’t they know it’s a trick by the horrible giant bunny?


Paloma peeled off its shiny skin. Inside it was horrible brown yucky. YEEEW! This wasn’t an egg.


I put my head into Paloma’s milk machine. No. I don’t want to eat giant eggs from the horrible giant bunny.

“Look Avery. It’s yummy chocolate.” Dad said. “Here eat this.”

But I didn’t open my mouth.

“Taste it Avery, here.”

But I didn’t open my mouth.

“Stubborn little blogger isn’t he.” Dad said.

If only you could read my bloggy, Dad. Then you’d understand.


Eggs are white, Dad. Trust me.

“BLOGGY.” I said. Come to my bloggy, Dad and Paloma. Come to my bloggy so you can think me too. “Bloggy.”

“Dean, I wish you’d stop swearing in front of the children.”

No Paloma. Not swearing. I just want you to see my bloggy.


What is it about big people? Are they stupid? Emery was eating the big horrible brown egg, but she’s just a girl. Not a smart boy like Avery.

If you come to my bloggy and don’t see it… you will know that something awful has happened. Poor Avery might be the only boy on earth if they all turn into horrible giant bunnies.

Please, I beg you. If you are reading this can you ring my Dad. He has a telephone.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Hello. My name is Avery. That's Avery with an A.

I'm a boy. I don't really need to explain much more. And I'm handsome. I don't really have much to blog about because mostly things can be good. Anyway blogs are perfect for logical humans like Avery.
Mostly I guess I can just tell you how annoying Emery can be. She is my big sister. She is three and a girl. There's only one girl who isn't annoying. That's my friend Phoebelou. She doesn't have a milk machine.
Paloma does. I checked. My Dad likes milking machines. Personally I can't see the point of them. You can get a bottle and move around while you drink your milk. Babies like them. But babies don't think logical things like boys do. Especially me. Avery.
That's Avery with an A.